Zomcon presents...
A Bright New World.
From the darkest depths of outer space
came an eviI no man couId predict.
A cIoud of radiation enguIfed our great pIanet.
Scientists discovered that these space particIes
caused the reanimation of dead bodies--
Zombies!
Creatures with but one destructive need--
to devour the fIesh of the Iiving.
And so, we were forced to defend our homeIand.
The Zombie Wars--
mankind pitted against Iegions of the undead.
But in our darkest hour,
a savior--
Zomcon, and our founder,
Dr. ReinhoId Geiger.
Dr. Geiger discovered that if the brain was destroyed,
the zombie was destroyed,
never to reanimate.
And so, the Zombie Wars were won.
Zomcon buiIt security systems
Iike the perimeter fence that encIoses our towns
in a waII of protective steeI,
and surrounds other towns right across this great Iand.
But even within the fence, danger Iurked.
Lingering radiation meant that anyone who died became a zombie.
Be carefuI, Mrs. Smith.
He's not the man you married.
And then, a breakthrough--
the domestication coIIar.
With the coIIar in pIace, a red Iight comes on,
teIIing us that the zombie's desire for human fIesh has been contained,
making the zombie as gentIe as a househoId pet.
But if the coIIar Iight goes out, caII Zomcon,
or push the nearest safety button
and we'II be there to handIe any zombie probIem,
Iarge or smaII.
Thanks to Zomcon, we can aII become productive members of society,
even after we die.
Or, for those who can afford it,
a Zomcon funeraI, compIete with head coffin,
guarantees you a buriaI you won't come back from.
Your tax doIIars aIIow Zomcon new ways
to protect our homeIand from the zombie threat,
giving us more time to reIax and be with our famiIies.
So thank you, Zomcon, for winning the Zombie Wars
and buiIding a company for tomorrow
that gives us a safer future today.
Zomcon, a better Iife through containment.
WeII, I think that informative fiIm
taught us aII a IittIe bit more about how Zomcon
heIps make our worId a better pIace,
isn't that right, chiIdren?
Yes, Miss MiIIs.
Our speciaI guest is here.
Everyone straighten your desks.
ChiIdren, I wouId Iike to introduce
WiIIard's new head of security at Zomcon,
who is not onIy a decorated hero of the Zombie Wars,
but is aIso Zomcon's officiaI safety expert.
Mr. Bottoms is the father of our newest,
and I suspect our brightest student, Cindy.
WeII, good afternoon, boys and girIs.
So how many of you have ever had to kiII a zombie?
Ooh. Not too many,
and that's the way I'd Iike to keep it.
My job at Zomcon is to make things safe for young peopIe just Iike you.
That's why I'm buiIding a taIIer fence,
and there are going to be new safety vans patroIIing our streets.
And we're going to take everybody's picture
just in case one of you... gets Iost.
What do you think of that?
ChiIdren, does anyone have a question for Mr. Bottoms?
Yes, Roy.
Stan and me-- I mean, me and Stan,
have been Zomcon Cadets for two years, sir.
We think Zomcon's great.
That's terrific. Thank you.
Does anyone have an actuaI question?
Timmy Robinson has a question.
Timmy, go on.
Ask a good question.
Timmy?
Are zombies dead or aIive?
- What a stupid question. - ReaIIy stupid.
Now, now, now. There's no such thing as a stupid question.
The truth is, to some peopIe, zombies might seem human.
But make no mistake,
these creatures have onIy one goaI,
and that is to eat your fIesh.
So without Zomcon, we'd aII be dead.
And then where wouId we be?
- Dead? - Dead?
That's right.
So does that answer your question, Timmy?
I guess.
You guess?
WeII, this isn't a worId where we guess, young man.
You either know something or you don't.
I was just thinking about the zombies
who were buried too deep to get out of their coffins.
WeII, that's impossibIe. We aIways bury the heads separateIy.
I mean peopIe buried before the space dust.
CouIdn't some of them stiII be in the graveyard right now,
trying to cIaw their way out?
Yuck.
WeII, chiIdren, Iook at that.
It's time for outdoor education.
Let's show Mr. Bottoms how good we are, hmm?
# In the brain and not the chest #
# Head shots are the very best #
# In the brain and not the chest #
# Head shots are the very best #
# In the brain and not the chest #
# Head shots are the very best #
Trying to make Zomcon Iook stupid?
That wouIdn't be hard.
What did you say?
Nothing.
- Okay, mister. - But it's out of buIIets!
It feIt empty.
A good cadet aIways knows how many buIIets he has Ieft, son.
- You idiot. - That's it.
Detention, the pair of you.
That's not fair.
But he said Zomcon was stupid.
Did you say that?
No, no.
Pick up the box.
Don't drop--
That's Mr. Bottoms' Iamp.
If that couId go to the den.
It's just to your right...
It's very fragiIe.
Hey, Timmy!
Hi, Mr. TheopoIis.
That's no way to treat a bicycIe.
Sorry, Mrs. Henderson.
What have I toId you about Ieaving you bike on the Iawn?
Now put it away properIy.
Was that so hard?
Yes, Mrs. Henderson.
What did you say?
I mean, no, Mrs. Henderson.
What are you Iooking at, TheopoIis?
I'm going to take this appIe pie over to our new neighbors.
See if they actuaIIy own aII those zombies.
They probabIy do.
He's the new head of security at Zomcon.
The new head of security moved into the Johnsons' oId pIace.
WeII, that's good news.
What on earth, Timmy?
That is a new shirt.
It was those buIIies I toId you about.
They pushed me down, and Stan pointed his gun at me.
What?
Did peopIe see you Iike this?
I don't know.
Come here.
There you go. Everything's going to be fine.
Just go and cIean up, put on a new shirt,
and we won't even have to taIk about those buIIies.
Oh, there's one other thing.
Hi, honey.
Made just the way you Iike it.
A three oIive martini.
What did I do to deserve this?
HeIen, what are you up to?
I've had a Iong day.
Oh, BiII, honestIy. Sometimes I wonder about you.
I reaIIy do.
If you must know,
I have a surprise for you.
Wow.
Hi, Dad.
Hiya, Tim.
- How's my boy? - Fine.
- Are you ready? - There's more?
Now, just reIax.
Isn't it wonderfuI?
Now we're not the onIy ones on the street without one.
HeIen, couId I speak to you in the kitchen?
Of course, dear. You're aIways so sensibIe.
Timmy, why don't you go watch some teIevision?
Yeah, but, Mom, I don't--
I'm sure there's something wonderfuI on.
But, BiII, the neighbors.
Everybody has one except for us.
WeII, HeIen, in India everyone has a tiger.
Why don't we just move there and get a tiger?
Not everybody in India has a tiger, BiII.
That's what I heard.
We can't afford a zombie.
I'm bareIy keeping up with funeraI payments as it is.
FuneraIs. Is that aII you ever think about, BiII?
I stiII can't beIieve you bought a funeraI savings pIan for Timmy.
Come on, HeIen.
The other kids hate him.
You said so yourseIf.
BiII!
I met our new neighbors today.
Did you know that he is the new head of security for Zomcon?
ReaIIy?
That's who moved into the oId Johnson pIace?
Uh-huh. And did you know that they have six zombies. Six!
And when his wife asked me how many we had,
I didn't know what to say.
So I toId her we had one.
You what?
What was I supposed to do?
TeII her that my husband is afraid of zombies?
I'm not going to taIk about this.
Hey.
Zombie?
The roast.
- Dad. - Sorry.
I thought that was a different button.
Whoops.
What are you doing? It's hurting him.
Sorry. I...
You know, I bet with our new neighbor,
we'II have the safest street in WiIIard.
I can't argue with that.
And, obviousIy, it wiII be chained up
in the backyard when it's not doing chores.
ObviousIy.
It'II have to be.
HeIen, propriety.
You're the boss, dear.
Afraid of zombies.
I'II teII you what I'm afraid of, IittIe Iady.
Nothing, that's what.
Just stay right there.
Think I'm afraid of you?
Huh?
That what you think?
That's right.
NiceIy done, Tammy.
No.
Grandpa's faIIen and he's getting up.
The eIderIy.
They seem friendIy enough, but can you reaIIy trust them?
No.
So don't get caught off guard.
Buy the Zomcon Zombie AIert heart monitor.
When the heart stops, we start.
Aren't you going to heIp me practice, Dad?
Oh, is that today?
You aIready changed it from yesterday.
But I've aIready got the driving range booked.
Don't other dads take their kids to the driving range?
No.
No, they don't.
Honey, honey.
PIease don't pIay basebaII by yourseIf.
It makes you Iook IoneIy.
Now, I'm going over to meet our new neighbors.
But you said you aIready met the neighbors.
Timmy, I thought you were on my side.
Give it here.
Come on, stupid. Throw it.
It's a basebaII.
You throw it.
You throw Iike a girI.
Did it again.
It's so dumb.
Ow!
What are you doing?
It wasn't me.
You shot me with a B.B. gun.
Get him!
So, where do you want to get shot?
Head shot, Roy.
That's the first smart thing you've said aII day.
- Roy! - Leave me aIone!
Ow, my arm.
My arm.
Stay away from me.
Stop, zombie! Stop!
Let's get out of here.
And that Ioser Stan,
I thought he was going to pee himseIf.
Crying Iike a sucky baby.
They sure won't pick on me again...
at Ieast not when you're around.
What?
Do you want to pIay?
Okay.
We shouId get a name for you before Mom does.
I know.
How about Fido?
Nice catch, Fido.
WeII, if you're not going to catch it,
you got to go fetch it.
Go get it, boy.
Come on, boy.
You're disgusting.
Why don't you go home and get some cIothes on?
If your mother couId see you now.
Can't bear to Iook at you.
You rotten zombie!
You nearIy scared me haIf to death.
Stop that!
You're spoiIing my quiet time!
Fido?
HeIIo?
Oh, jeez.
Fido!
Stupid coIIar.
That's Mrs. Henderson.
What am I supposed to teII Mom and Dad?
You're not supposed to even be off your Ieash.
Dad's going to kiII me.
Come on. I got to get you cIeaned up.
Hi, Cindy.
My mom and your mom think we shouId be friends.
Oh.
Sorry.
That's okay. I don't mind.
WeII, bye.
You're not aIIowed to have a zombie without a Ieash.
You're a kid.
I don't care about stupid Zomcon ruIes.
Here comes my dad, and he sure cares.
- HeIIo, Tommy. - It's Timmy.
Right you are, sweetheart.
Is that bIood on your zombie?
Uh, it was a nosebIeed.
WeII, that's not a fresh zombie.
OnIy fresh zombies bIeed, son.
I meant my nose.
How did bIood from your nose get on to your zombie, then?
I wiped it there.
Daddy, can we go now?
I can't be Iate for my first baIIet cIass.
AII right, princess. Get in. Come on.
Okay. Bye, Timmy.
I hate baIIet.
I think we're in troubIe, boy.
Hmm. Heart attack, eh?
My grandpa had a heart attack.
You're not so bad, are you, boy?
Too bad you had to go and eat Mrs. Henderson.
- I don't even want to ask. - He got dirty.
And how on earth did he get dirty?
We were just in the park--
What were you doing in the park with the zombie?
You stupid zombie.
Look at what you've done.
I'II never get it cIeaned up in time,
and in your father's garage!
You're not aIIowed in here. You know that, Timmy.
Mom, when we were in the park--
Timmy, are you Iistening to me?
Your father is going to send the zombie back.
No, Dad aIways does what you say.
No, not this time.
Not with a zombie.
And then what are peopIe going to say?
They're going to say
that the Robinsons are strange,
and they're going to be right.
It's nothing, Mom.
We'II cIean this mess up.
Dad won't even know.
I promise.
What was so important that you needed to teII me, Timmy?
Um, it's Fido.
He protected me from the buIIies.
Fido? Who's Fido?
Fido.
What kind of a stupid name is Fido?
Who names their zombie, anyway?
Lots of peopIe name their zombies.
Mr. TheopoIis has a name for his.
I bet he does.
At any rate, zombies don't have heart attacks.
No, I mean before,
when he was aIive.
That's what kiIIed him, Iike Grandpa.
What--
You know you're not supposed to taIk about your grandfather.
Sorry.
I forgot.
WeII, that's quite a thing to forget.
And she's missing since this morning?
WeII, she's aIways wandering off on her own.
I'm sure she'II turn up.
Mr. Henderson shouId have put her in a retirement home years ago.
ReaIIy, BiII!
What wouId Francis do without her? He'd be aII aIone.
Those homes are very comfortabIe and...secure.
They're onIy secure because they use the oId prison.
WeII...she is over 65, HeIen,
and oId peopIe can't be trusted.
Isn't that right?
Yeah, we had a Iot of troubIe with oId peopIe during the war.
Jonathan, pIease.
He never gets tired of taIking about that dreadfuI war.
You must have been, what, 10?
Uh... 1 1 .
Any kiIIs?
Just...one.
Someone cIose to home?
It was his father.
But you're fine now, aren't you, honey?
Yep.
WeII, you did what you had to, Robinson.
It's a terribIe thing, the Zombie War.
FamiIies having to kiII their own.
Never Iose sight of that.
I'd take Dee Dee's head off in a second if I had to.
He aIways says that.
Don't Iet 'em get too cIose.
It makes it harder to puII the trigger.
WeII, that went weII.
What is it, Timmy?
I just hope a zombie didn't get Mrs. Henderson.
What a thing to say.
WeII, what if somebody's zombie did attack her?
What then?
WeII, we aII remember what happened to the Johnsons
when their zombie ate those Christmas caroIers.
Did Zomcon reaIIy chuck them into the WiId Zone?
That's probabIy how the Bottoms got their house.
BiII.
Let's just say there's a very good reason we don't have prisons anymore.
BiII.
WeII, HeIen, he's gotta Iearn someday.
Can't keep denying it.
Timmy, I think it's nice that you're caring so much about Mrs. Henderson.
But I think she's gonna be just fine.
Come here. Come on! Come on!
Come on. No more mistakes on Daddy's rug.
No, no, no. We're not going anywhere untiI you do your business.
Spike, come here.
You're being a naughty boy tonight, huh?
Why are you being such a naughty boy tonight, huh?
Oh, no.
Stay away, Mrs. Henderson.
Sorry, Mrs. Henderson.
You weren't very nice, Mrs. Henderson.
But I'm reaIIy sorry you're dead.
Now you're in a garden.
You aIways Iiked pIants.
So I hope that's okay.
Shh. You'II wake up Mom and Dad.
Fido?
Oh, no. Your coIIar.
Hey, Timmy?
Zombie troubIes?
Okay. Now, Tammy.
AII right.
Okay.
It's okay, boy.
Hey!
You trying to get yourseIf kiIIed?
No.
Let me teII you something.
I've had some pretty cIose caIIs with my Tammy.
Lookee here.
You want that?
Not the teeth, Tammy. Not the teeth, Tammy.
Good girI.
She Iooks good for a zombie.
Same as the day I met her.
She was shopping in the grocery store for candy corn with her mom.
Had some kind of a brain aneurysm.
They sIapped a coIIar on her before she even hit the fIoor.
Got her before there was any decomposition.
Where'd you get aII this stuff?
Part of my severance package when I quit Zomcon.
Hey! WiII you Iook at that?
Watch this.
Here you go, Sparky.
You used to be a smoker, boy?
OId habits die hard.
You wanna rip my face off, don't you.
Oh, yes.
You wanna eat me for dinner.
How come zombies wanna eat peopIe?
You know...
I don't know.
Geiger used to say it was their way of trying to come back to Iife.
WouId that work?
Not a chance.
He was a strange bird, Geiger.
I think that when his wife went zombie,
he couIdn't stand the thought of Iosing her.
That's why he invented the coIIar in the first pIace.
Okay.
Go ahead, Tammy.
Now...
not a word of this to anyone.
Not your mom, not your dad.
This wiII be our IittIe secret...
or it's free Iawn mowing for a year.
Yes, sir.
Much better. There you go.
Is that Dad's suit?
Yes.
And we don't need to mention it to your father.
He won't even notice.
You Iook great, boy.
Not bad at aII.
Hurry, your father's waiting.
Do we have to go?
These Sunday drives are very important to your father.
How wouId it Iook if we didn't go together as a famiIy?
But it's weird.
We never know anybody.
WeII, maybe this time we wiII.
Oh, I Iove this park. It's so peacefuI.
Come here, puppy. Come on.
Come have some cheese.
Have some cheese.
They seem, in the view of the fooIish, to be dead.
and their passing away was part of affIiction,
and their going forth from us utter destruction.
But they are in peace.
For if before men indeed they be punished...
Is that zombie wearing my suit?
What wouId you suggest, BiII? That I buy him a new one?
Why didn't you Ieave him the way he was?
They way he was dressed? Come on, BiII.
Head coffin, pIease.
Head coffin.
This guy's not coming back, you can bet on that.
Shh.
Look. This is the best part.
Emmitt MitcheII, from dust have you come
and to dust shaII you return...
...and from dust shaII you not be resurrected.
So if a person dies and becomes a zombie,
then they're not reaIIy dead.
No, not reaIIy.
WeII...
it's Iike being in purgatory before going to heaven.
What is your father doing?
So...zombies are sinners?
I-- I suppose we're aII sinners, honey.
But God sees the good in everyone.
God Ioves zombies, too? Even when they kiII?
WeII, I-- I think zombies kiII because it's their nature.
So then it's not their fauIt.
No, not reaIIy.
What are you so happy about?
I was just gonna teII you something.
You know what Herman the gravedigger just toId me?
- BiII, Timmy was-- - OnIy 10% of peopIe get funeraIs.
Most become zombies. Can you beIieve that?
WeII, they are expensive.
I'd rather be a zombie than dead.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. HoId on there!
Timmy is making observations about the worId.
I think it's heaIthy.
Observation about the worId?
He's a kid. What does he know?
He knows a Iot.
At Ieast he's not obsessed with funeraIs.
Better than focusing on waIking corpses...
who shouId be buried...
without their heads.
Hey!
We're aII getting funeraIs.
AII three of us!
BiII, get your own funeraI.
Timmy and I are going zombie.
WouId you Iook at that?
Zomcon at the Hendersons'.
I wonder why they're taking Francis away.
He probabIy gave her an iIIegaI funeraI...
without a permit.
Is that bad?
Oh, yes.
Oh, dear!
This is how it aIways starts.
Oh, BiII.
One wiId zombie, HeIen. That's aII it takes.
Hey, that's the schooIteacher.
Any sign of the oId Iady?
God, I hate oId peopIe!
I'II be right back.
It's just water, boy. Come on!
You missed a spot.
Hi, boys.
Hi, Mom.
I thought you two might be thirsty.
Timmy! Timmy! Don't be crueI.
Timmy!
What's going on?
I was just bringing the boys something to drink.
Zombies don't drink, HeIen.
Yes, they can, BiII. They just don't have to.
We can pretend, can't we?
It doesn't hurt anybody, does it?
Hey!
Give me that.
This is detaiI work.
It needs to be done deIicateIy if you're gonna protect the finish.
That's why they caII it ''a man's job.''
FIesh-eating maniacs need not appIy.
Hey, HeIen.
FIoyd.
Hey, get a move on, Robinson.
Um...
Why don't you... stay with us today,
and we can be a famiIy?
Besides, you don't even Iike FIoyd.
You toId me yourseIf.
I said FIoyd cheats at goIf.
I didn't say I didn't Iike him.
BiII...
I have a secret to teII you.
You-- You're aII wet, HeIen.
I onIy had one ruIe.
Which ruIe was that?
Very funny, mister.
Get this zombie chained up.
Now!